Since we live in an age of Instagram stories, status updates and Snapchat filters, it’s important to take some extra precautions during wedding planning to avoid spoiling wedding-related surprises, hurting anyone’s feelings and so on. (With more social media power comes more responsibility, of course.)
From posting awkward, unecessary details to spending your reception scrolling, these are all the digital faux pas you should avoid before, during and after your wedding.
Mistake #1: Announcing your engagement on social media before calling your family and closest friends.
This should go without saying, but your close friends and family members will want to hear it straight from you first. A Facebook or Instagram post might be the most efficient way to announce your engagement, but it’s not the most personal. You know which friends and family members would appreciate to hear the news directly from you. Plus, it’s likely that older family members (like your grandparents) don’t have social media accounts and could miss the message altogether.
Mistake #2: Posting nitty-gritty details about your ring.
Post all the ring selfies you want (everyone can’t wait to see!) but no one needs to know about cost and carat. After you post your “engaged” status, your friends and family will be dying to find out what the ring looks like, so indulge them with a photo (you may want to prep with a manicure first). It’s not bragging to share a pic with the exciting news. Leave out the other details, because how much it cost isn’t anyone else’s business—the point is that it symbolizes the commitment you’re making. Everyone’s going to be checking out your hand for the first few months anyway, so make it easy for friends and family to admire from afar.
Mistake #3: Forgoing traditional paper invites for the main event.
Email (and even Facebook event) invites are totally okay for pre- and postwedding parties, but paper invites are the way to go for the actual wedding day. In today’s technology-based world, where your guests receive hundreds of notifications a day, a physical invite has become so much more special. That doesn’t mean you have to go over-the-top with an invite that sings and shoots confetti. Simple card stock and laser printing will do the trick. A paperless invite for the rehearsal dinner or morning-after brunch is a great option (especially if you want to cut down on stationery costs). Just because the invites are electronic doesn’t mean they can’t have style or personality. There are plenty of sites that let you customize e-invites so they look beautiful and unique.
Mistake #4: Venting about wedding stressors on your social media channels.
Not only should you avoid posting your wedding website on social media, but you should also keep your public posts as positive as possible. (As in, confront any issues directly and privately via phone, email or in person.) We know—probably more than anyone else—that wedding planning can be stressful at times. But before you post that status venting about all the guests who RSVP’d for too many people or complaining about your future mother-in-law-zilla, pause for a second and think. Posting something negative about your wedding (even if you don’t call out a person specifically) will only lead to hurt feelings and tension. Instead, politely address each situation directly as it comes your way. That means picking up the phone and explaining to your guest that you don’t have enough room for all the extras, and asking your partner to have a conversation with their mom. Trust us, the other route will only create animosity around your wedding.
Mistake #5: Forgetting to spread the word about photo-sharing opportunities, hashtags and filters.
You should totally encourage your guests to download our photo-sharing app for a live-feed of every single photo taken at your event. And remember, you’re only a hashtag away from a successful feed of photos—inspire your guests to use it. We’ve gotten to the point where almost everyone (except maybe some older relatives) are familiar with hashtags and know how to use them, so you shouldn’t feel weird about putting it out there. Think of ideas to tie it into your paper elements in a pretty or witty way—on your wedding website or even on your wedding invitations. Don’t hesitate to ask guests to share photos of themselves as they prep for your wedding—and make sure to set up materials like table tents or cards that encourage guests to use that fancy Geofilter you designed.
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Mistake #6: Spending your wedding day on your phone.
Enjoy your day and stay off your phone while still keeping everyone updated. Your wedding day will fly by, and if you’re on your phone the whole time, you’ll miss out on what’s important. Focus on the guests who have come to celebrate with you, instead of everyone in your social media circles. You can always designate an official “head of communications” to send out necessary emails and updates—it could be another bridesmaid who isn’t your maid of honor (she’ll have plenty of responsibilities already) or you can even hire someone to keep your social networks updated throughout your reception (hello, selfies, Instagram stories and Snapchats) so you won’t have to.
Mistake #7: Failing to remind your guests to not post photos before you do.
If you want to be the first to post a picture from your wedding day, simply request your guests not to post photos before you do. It’s great that they want to show what an amazing wedding you threw and Instagram the cake and flowers. But it’s totally okay if you want to wait to share photographic details of the wedding until you have photos from you professional photographer. If you opt for an unplugged wedding, your guests should respect your choice.
