You might’ve already considered who gets a plus-one, how to deal with a hair disaster or even what to do if you get your period on your wedding day. But when it comes to the tough questions or challenges that could arise, here are some of the ones you probably might not have thought of yet.
1. Avoiding Awkwardness at Work
Concerned your boss and coworkers will take it personally when they don’t receive an invite? Well, you’re under no obligation to invite your boss (or anyone for that matter) to your wedding. To avoid any false expectations or hurt feelings, make it known to your coworkers and boss that your wedding is going to be limited to family and close friends only. The fact that no one from work is being invited (unless it’s someone you’re especially close to and hang out with on the reg outside of work) will help everyone, especially your boss, avoid feeling excluded. It would also probably be smart to keep wedding talk in the workplace to a minimum.
2. Helping Your Bridesmaids Budget
We hate to say it, but there’s a chance your bridesmaids (or groomsmen) will complain about costs—between the bachelorette party, the dresses and everything in between, it certainly adds up. The only thing you can do is be considerate. It’s likely your bridesmaids will only wear this dress for a few hours, so don’t make them hock their car to be a part of your wedding. Choose a dress that’s reasonably priced (have them tell you what reasonable is) or work together with your party to find a dress that has both the style and price you’re looking for. Brides aren’t required to pay for the dresses, but if you want to spring for something pricey, consider adding it on to your own budget or paying for half. Try to mitigate expenses elsewhere too—if they’re buying the dresses, don’t make them also buy jewelry and shoes.
3. Keeping Your RSVPs in Check
If you find yourself waiting for RSVPs at the last minute, don’t just assume they’re not coming. (As far as final head count goes, you should never assume.) Call them and find out. You never know—maybe they think they sent the response card, but it got lost under a pile of mail instead. If you really can’t get a hold of them, assume they’re coming and make sure there’s enough food and seats for them. It’s better to have extra grub and room than it is to have neglected guests wondering where to sit.
4. Planning for No-Shows
This is a case where you should definitely err on the side of caution. While it’s true that chances are slim every last guest who RSVPs “yes” will definitely be able to make it to your wedding, it will be a huge headache for you to scrounge up seats and plates if more guests than you planned for show up. The solution? Cut down your guest list to a size your budget can manage, and until every last RSVP card has come in (and every last phone call to track down those errant replies has gone out), assume they’re all going to be there.
5. Regulating the Toasts
Worried your partner’s fraternity brother will get ahold of the mic and deliver a drunken, inappropriate toast? Avoid this nightmare scenario by making sure your event planner, day-of coordinator and/or emcee knows specifically who is delivering each wedding toast, in what order. And most importantly, lend specific instructions to the holder of the microphone (in most instances, your bandleader or DJ) that they are not—under any circumstances—to hand the mic over to any other guest.
6. Feeding Your Vendors
Yes, you should provide at least some sort of sustenance to your vendors. You can feed them what you’re providing for your guests, arrange for your caterer to put together a quick platter for the photographer, musicians and others, or even provide them with simple sandwiches.
7. Accommodating Picky Eaters
Honestly, it’s pretty impossible to foresee every single wedding guest’s dietary needs and preferences. (For instance, you might have some vegans, diabetics, Kosher-keepers, people with food allergies or people on strict diets that you haven’t even heard of.) Either way, your best bet is to choose one or two basic meat entrées and one vegetarian entrée that will make everyone else happy. You can even consider having a buffet or family-style meal that includes a variety of sides, appetizers and mains, so you can let guests choose their own meal. Remember that most people with specific food requirements don’t expect special treatment when they attend a wedding.
8. Getting the Thank-You Cards Right
For the record, all attendees deserve a handwritten thank-you—regardless of whether they gave you a gift. Now before you roll your eyes and ignore this advice, remember: Guests may have taken time off from work to be there, or spent money on travel and accommodations. Keep it simple and say something like, “Thanks for coming! It meant so much that you could be there to celebrate with us.” Try to include something personal too, like how you loved their dance moves or the joke they told in the receiving line. Just resist the temptation to throw in a “PS: We’re registered at Macy’s.”
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