Shopping for an engagement ring together is increasingly popular among couples (one in three couples report experiencing this milestone purchase as a team). But when it comes to the actual amount spent, do proposal recipients really want to know (or at least be aware for insurance purposes)? After polling thousands of real couples, we learned 70 percent of proposers decide the ring budget on their own, while only 8 percent decide with their partner. Clearly there are newly engaged brides and grooms on both sides of the spectrum—some who appreciate the more traditional idea of their partner doing everything by themselves, and others who want to be on the same page in terms of money and design.
So, would you rather be in the know or keep this cost a mystery ’til death do you part? Here, engaged and married members of The Wed Thread, our Facebook group for to-be-weds, weigh in with their unique points of view.
“I picked [my ring] out with my fiancé, so I knew the price—we set a budget together. He wanted me to pick it out and like it since I have to wear it for the rest of my life.” —Bailey
“I didn’t, don’t and never want to know the cost of my ring. I know my fiancé would not have spent what he couldn’t manage, so I wear it proudly every day without the fear of losing a small fortune off my finger.” —Marie Elizabeth
“The price doesn’t matter to me, but I wanted to know just so I could make sure it was properly insured.” —Christina
“Yes, but only because I knew he’d spend way more than he needed to or should have.” —Rachel
“Nope. The price won’t change the fact that I love my ring—I love the man who gave me the ring more. He’s my best friend and partner forever.” —Melissa
“I had to know because I’m so nosy—and I’m going to wear it forever, [so] it would have been frustrating not to know. He doesn’t know that I know—he told me all the [details] about the ring, so I searched for it and found out the price.” —Demi
“The cost of the ring didn’t mean anything to me. He could have gotten a ring from the candy machine at a grocery store and I still would have been happy. It’s not the ring, it’s the man who decided he wanted to put up with me until the day we die.” —Alyssa
“I didn’t want to know because I feel like it’s a gift from him. I also know he spent a lot on it and I’d rather not have feelings of guilt associated with how much he paid.” —Kala
“The original ring I wanted was out of our budget. Working with our amazing jeweler, we were able to get the same ring I wanted, but with a different gemstone and lower price—while not breaking the bank. So, to me, knowing the price was something I wanted. I didn’t want him to spend an outrageous amount of money just because it was the ring I loved. Together we were able to get what I wanted and not put ourselves in debt.” —Stephanie
“I wanted to know, but to this day, my fiancé won’t tell me. All he says is that its value is what it means to us.” —Anissa
“I don’t want to know! All I care about is that he took the time to look and pick the one he thought was perfect for me.” —Lindsey
“My fiancé told me his budget for my ring, and he managed to spend $4,000 less than the budget because I did extensive research on wholesale jewelers—score! My fiancé has high expectations for himself and me. My ring came out [perfectly], and I’m comfortable knowing how much he spent.” —McKinley
“I don’t want to know and would never ask him. My fiancé insured the ring, so there was no reason I needed to know. I love my fiancé and my ring, and I trust his judgement as to what he felt he could realistically spend. I love what he chose and I think it suits me perfectly—the price is irrelevant.” —Alex
“If you’re marrying the person who bought the ring, I think it’s more than acceptable to know how much it costs. You probably should know for insurance purposes as well—kind of weird for that to be kept a secret.” —Cara
“I asked how much it cost because I think it’s important to know each other’s finances before and after marriage.” —Kristin
Not sure how much to spend on an engagement ring? Read this.
