We know it seems like every bride has a troop of bridesmaids lead by a maid of honor—but there’s no clause in some all-knowing wedding rule book stating you need a maid of honor. (Actually, you don’t even need bridesmaids if you don’t want them.) That said, brides don’t ask a relative or BFF to be their maid or matron of honor for no reason—an honor attendant does more than stand at the altar and look pretty while the couple says “I do.”
Traditional maid of honor duties include keeping the bridesmaids organized, planning and hosting the shower and bachelorette party, addressing envelopes, keeping tabs on wedding gifts and being the bride’s right hand and confidante. For tons of brides, a sister or best friend is the perfect, obvious pick for the role, but not every to-be-wed has a clear candidate for maid of honor.
You may not have sisters, but instead have a tight-knit group of three best friends you couldn’t possibly choose between. Maybe you have a sister you’re not as close to as your dearest friend, but who assumes she’ll be maid of honor because she’s family. If your situation sounds like one of these scenarios, you might want to have more than one honor attendant—or no maid of honor at all—to avoid tension, stress and hurt feelings.
Let’s be real though, you’ll want some kind of help throughout your wedding planning process. (Seriously, don’t do it alone!) If you do go the no-MOH route, it’s really important not to take on too much yourself, and to delegate equally to the rest of your wedding party. Play to everyone’s strengths. Your design-savvy cousin can help you whip up a wedding website. Your two shopping-addicted friends can start perusing dress styles. Your super-organized sister can jump on making the shower guest list. Your other friends with perfect cursive can help you address save-the-dates over a bottle of wine and personal pizzas. See what we mean? And don’t forget to put everyone in charge of fielding questions from guests so you’re not constantly bombarded.
Essentially, all these extra hands will keep the little details leading up to your wedding running smoothly, even if no one’s title is technically maid of honor. In a way, not having a maid honor might end up feeling like you have several—and there’s nothing wrong with that.