Your future mother-in-law is, more than likely, the other most important woman in your future spouse’s life—so when it comes to wedding planning, it’s no surprise there can be some clashing here and there. That’s why we took to our Facebook forum The Wed Thread to see how real brides have resolved conflicts with their future mothers-in-law (whether she’s a pushy penny pincher or an unsolicited-opinion giver—not that you’d ever tell her so, of course) during the wedding planning process. Below, find out how these brides dealt with the drama, because—monster-in-law or not—it’s pretty much bound to happen.
“My future mother-in-law was trying to control the guest list. My fiancé doesn’t speak to many of his family members from his mother’s side, so she was upset when she saw he practically invited none of them. Rather than have a huge fight, we allowed her to invite eight people of her choosing to our wedding. It resolved the conflict completely.” –Mariah
“The worst moment was when my future mother-in-law tried to tell me I HAD to ask my fiancé’s stepsister to be a bridesmaid, even though she explicitly said she didn’t want to be. Thankfully, my fiancé is amazing and supportive and talked to her for me. She came around.” –Brie
“My future stepmother-in-law has been blowing up Facebook, posting pictures of dresses she wants to wear for the wedding (saying she needs a mother of the groom dress even though she married my future father-in-law after my fiancé was out of the house). I finally had to step in when she started posting dresses that were a little too close to white—I simply told her what colors would be more appropriate. Call me a bridezilla, but I’m the only one who will be wearing any shade of white, ivory or cream.” –Lindsay
“My future mother-in-law has an opinion on absolutely everything, even when we don’t ask for it (and my fiancé and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves). Currently, she’s pushing us to have a cash bar and heavy apps instead of dinner. She constantly sends us emails telling us she’s talked to several caterers and gotten quotes, even going so far as to assume the meals we want, all without consulting us. We’ve had to tell her gently several times that we’re not interested in doing a cash bar and heavy apps—we plan on doing complimentary bottles of champagne at each table and a full meal for our guests. We’ve been struggling a lot to tell her she needs to respect our vision.” –Natalie
“Everything’s been okay except when it came to finding a venue. My future in-laws live in a little farming town, and my future mother-in-law suggested we have the wedding at a little park that’s not in the best shape. My fiancé, thankfully, shut that down really quickly so I didn’t have to.” –Brittany
“My future mother-in-law sat me down and told me that she would follow our lead and help where she can, and do research with us to make our vision come true. I breathed a sigh of relief and was so happy that I wouldn’t have to fight or contradict her at every turn. But now every time I share something with her (whether it’s the fact that I don’t want an engagement ring or that I want to get ready with my fiancé the morning of our wedding), she adamantly goes against all of our ideas and emphasizes the importance of traditions. I leave the resolutions up to my fiancé because it’s his mom, and I would never expect him to deal with my mom when conflicts arise. I talk to tell him my side of things, and we both know she means well.” –Raluca
“My future mother-in-law is super needy and texts me multiple times per day asking random questions. After weeks of asking about my mom’s dress, I sent her a picture of the dress my mom ended up getting the day she bought it (it’s a beautiful, navy lace gown). I told her she could do something similar or different, but I suggested she may also want to do navy because it’s a more flattering color than the other one in our palette, which is light gray. She texted me a picture of her dress the next day—it’s a crushed satin ice blue dress that looks like it’s from Goodwill. I didn’t want to drag it out any longer than I already had so I told her it was fine. Is it bad that I’m letting her wear it so I can have something to laugh about on my wedding day?” –Chrysta
“Overall, my future mother-in-law comes from an amazing place and has a wonderful heart. I’ve been grateful for her help, but she has a ton of opinions. Both she and my mom are extremely strong-willed and try to step in and help a little too much. It’s causing a lot more opinions than I need, so I’ve decided to take over the planning just by myself.” –Samantha
“My future mother-in-law demanded the kids’ table be placed in the back of the room, and I just told her no!” –Emily
“My future mother-in-law has ordered four dresses online—two that match our wedding colors, one in ivory and one that’s a lime, seafoam-green color. I told my fiancé he has to resolve this—if not, I’ve already recruited my maid of honor to ‘spill’ wine.” –Stacey
