Look—it’s bound to happen. People are going to RSVP no to your wedding (in fact, you might already be planning and preparing your B-list in anticipation). To be specific, between 10 and 20 percent of those invited will decline—and generally speaking, it’s not your fault—but sometimes it is. Check out some of the main reasons your friends and family might feel compelled to RSVP no, below.
It’s a Destination Wedding (or They’re an Out-of-Towner)
It’s totally fine to have a destination wedding, even if you know some people might not be able to attend—your wedding should be your vision, after all. But if you’re wondering why you’ve received more “not attending” check marks than you originally accounted for (and this goes for local affairs too, if you have a lot of out-of-towners on the guest list) you can probably chalk it up to two reasons: Travel and accommodation expenses may be out of their budget, or they physically are unable to make the trek—say, if someone’s heavily pregnant or at an age where travel is difficult. If you have any loved ones that might fall into those categories, you can likely expect them to decline.
They Weren’t Given a Plus-One
No, you’re not expected to give everyone a plus-one, and if you’re not sure who should get one based on etiquette, check out our comprehensive guide here. But unfortunately, you could unintentionally make someone feel slighted if they weren’t given the option to bring their significant other—or making them feel straight-up awkward if they won’t know a whole lot of the other guests and they have to come alone. So just remember: Anyone who’s in a serious relationship or anyone who’s an important guest who won’t know a ton of people should be able to bring a date.
They Can’t Bring Their Children
Hey, we’re all for adults-only weddings. But keep in mind that for some parents, finding a sitter and leaving their kids at home is much, much easier said than done (especially if the children are toddler-age or younger). If you have a no-kids policy (again, no judgment here) then you can expect some of your child-rearing guests to decline.
They Weren’t Invited to a Prewedding Event
Between bridal showers, bachelorette parties and engagement parties, it can—admittedly—get confusing keeping track of who should be invited to what prewedding event. Again, guests might feel slighted if they think they should’ve been invited to something (in this case, the bridal shower) they weren’t. And in turn, they might retaliate by RSVPing no. It might seem petty (in most cases, it is), but be sure you’re following etiquette and inviting the people that should be invited to your engagement party, bachelorette party and beyond.
