My fiance and I both have divorced parents, so we decided to split the wedding costs five ways (and they agreed). We felt we should contribute since it is our wedding. The problem is that his sister is getting married a few months before us, and we don’t think she and her fiance are contributing to their own wedding. How can we approach this with my fiance’s parents? It wouldn’t be fair for us to struggle to save for our wedding when my future sister-in-law is getting a free ride. Help!
A:
Sorry, but you two and your families have decided how to finance your wedding, and that’s a completely separate issue from how your fiance’s sister finances hers. This situation isn’t about fairness. While your frustration is understandable, you can’t can’t just say to his parents, “Hey, we deserve as much money as she gets!” Not only are you likely to come off as whiny and immature, you’ll also seem a tad ungrateful — after all, you said they are giving you some money. Instead, take pride in your contribution to your own wedding costs. Remember that you will have more say in the planning if you have a financial stake — his sis may have to compromise more with her parents than you two will. While it might not be everything you wanted, it’s nothing to sneeze at!
