So you don’t want bridesmaids, but not for a lack of options. (In fact, maybe you have too many options, which is why you’re in this dilemma.) You might feel afraid to let your friends down, or insult your lifelong BFF who’s talked about being your maid of honor since middle school. No matter what your (sticky) situation is, we’re here to help. Below, check out how to handle it if you’ve chosen not to have a wedding party.
Be Honest
Maybe you can’t choose because you’re blessed with too many great girlfriends (and you thank your lucky stars every day for that). Or maybe you’d rather have a casual ceremony, and giving your friends titles and making them stand in a row feels awkward to you. Or perhaps your partner doesn’t want a wedding party on their end, and you don’t want an imbalance at the altar or in photos (and if that’s the case, remember that it totally doesn’t matter). Whatever the issue, simply tell them your reasoning and assure them it isn’t personal. If they know it’s about you and not them, they’ll understand.
Remind Them Why It’s Awesome
They won’t be bombarded by annoying email chains and text message groups—yay! But most importantly, your non-bridesmaids will save tons of money (and not just on the bridesmaid dresses they’ll never wear again). They can spend that cash on whatever they want now.
Ask for Their Opinions During Planning
More than likely, they’ll jump at the opportunity to still be by your side when you need help during planning. Maybe that includes dress shopping or champagne tasting. Either way, don’t take advantage of them if you’re not giving them official bridesmaid status—just let them know their opinion means the world to you, and you’d love to have them along for the ride if they’re down.
Have a Bachelorette/Bachelor Party or Wedding Shower (If You Want)
While these events certainly aren’t mandatory—especially if you’re not having a wedding party—if you do want to have an amazing time with your non-attendants, this is your chance, and you definitely don’t need to ask them to spend tons of money to do so. (There are lots of ways to celebrate locally.) Either way, you’ll all be able to have fun, and they’ll know they were chosen to be a part of your festivities in some capacity.
Include Them in Other Ways
If you have other opportunities to include them on your wedding day, do so. If you’re Jewish, maybe that includes the signing of a ketubah. If you’re lacking nieces or nephews to be flower girls or ring bearers, perfect! Your close friends would probably relish the opportunity. There’s also a chance you’ll need ushers, greeters and toast-givers.
Assure Them They’ll Have More Fun This Way
So they’re still bummed they won’t get to be by your side in a matching dress on your wedding day? Remind them that as guests, they won’t have to worry about menial tasks (unless they love the idea of bustling your dress or helping you get ready, which is totally up to them and you). Most importantly, they’ll get to relax, take the day off and simply have fun, which is exactly what you want for them. Additionally, you could totally surprise them when they walk into the venue by not sharing many details with them.
