When it comes to wedding planning, maybe you feel like you’re “carrying the team on your back,” so to speak. And while you love your partner (you’re marrying them, right?) it’s totally normal to resent their apparent apathy toward your celebrations. But it doesn’t have to be that way: Below, check out the best ways to get your partner involved in wedding planning that might actually be fun for them. Who knows? Maybe they’ll find out they’re more into flower arrangements than they originally thought.
1. Play to Their Strengths
Think about what needs to get done right away—say, planning out the budget or negotiating with vendors. If your partner’s a finance professional or works out deals on a daily basis at work, letting them be in charge of some of those aspects (maybe the ones that don’t excite you very much in particular) seems like a no-brainer.
2. Tell Them How You Feel
Odds are, they’re not intentionally slacking. (Not to mention, there’s a long-held belief that some partners will propose and then just “show up” once you tell them a date and a venue.) They probably don’t know where to pitch in or contribute, and maybe even feel like they’ll step on your toes since you’ve been leading the charge so far. Simply tell them how you’re feeling—maybe it’s alone or stressed out—and that you’d truly love their help and opinions (even on things as seemingly menial as linens and unity candles).
3. Think of Their Interests
If you know your partner’s passionate about party foods, ask them to come up with menu options for the cocktail hour appetizers. Maybe your significant other is a beer aficionado—they’d be perfect for picking the microbrews for your reception or party favors. If they’re really into music, let them research bands and DJs and come up with a playlist. Moral of the story: Having tasks that feel tailored toward their interests will make them downright excited to plan this wedding by your side.
4. Give Them an Assignment
Once you decide which undertakings your partner is responsible for, give them an official assignment (ideally with all necessary information, like deadlines and budgets) so they have everything they need to carry it out and get the job done. Even if it’s as small as creating the envelopes for tipping, knowing they have a checklist in writing will help the cause.
5. Work Together
The bottom line is, this wedding should reflect your vision as much as it reflects your partner’s (it’s a celebration of both of you, after all). Neither of you should fully be carrying the burden on your own—and even if you divvy up tasks, the planning process should be collaborative, balanced and, most importantly, fun and enjoyable (rather than stressful) for both of you.
